Step One

 So we recently went on a fabulous, amazing, fun filled and totally off the charts awesome trip to Punta Mita, Mexico! 

 11 days of sun and sand an salt water and play. It was exactly what we needed. 

 Our family of 6 can get a little spread out at times. Our oldest son is almost 21 and spends most of his time either at work or with his lovely girlfriend. My husband works away from town 5 days a week and only has 1 full day at home which is basically split between catching up on sleep, running errands and trying to spend the spaces in between with his family.

Disconnection.

It's dangerous. It's so easily to put things off. 

Oh, I'm busy this week but let's plan a coffee date for next week.

Mommy is tired today but I promise I'll help you with your project tomorrow.

Yeah, I am aware that we haven't made love for 3 weeks babe, but I'm so done for today. How does next Friday sound?

This little 11 day trip certainly wasn't everything, but it was pretty damned close.

All of the kids bonded and had so much fun together playing in the ocean, playing in the pool, playing on the beach....

AND they shared a room so that meant that hubby and I got a room for ourselves! A lot of planning went into that little nugget, let me tell you. 

I bought lingerie. Like, real, proper lingerie.

Black thongs and a teddy and a strappy, uncomfortable bra that gave me pointy boobs and for some reason I deemed sexy.

Waxing and eating a lot of pineapple ( you know what they say about eating a lot of pineapple ) and exfoliating and smelling amazing.

Yeah, vacation sex was the plan because vacation sex is the best sex you'll ever have, ever ever.

But dude, each night we were so tired and spent and done that those plans kind of fell flat from night 1. I mean, who has the energy to have sex after 6 hours of snorkelling?

Anyways, beyond the no sex and beyond the sea water gross hair and beyond the dozens of bug bites and beyond the disgusting buffet food that made us all feel like we had scarfed down McCrap all day long....

I managed to fit in a little ME time while reading this book.

No Happy Cows

Let me first say that, I've done this before. I've read and educated myself  and been outraged but never like this. 

Maybe I just wasn't ready before. Maybe there was part of me that was just afraid of what I'd feel when I truly began to understand what I was eating.

But I get it now. I get it and feel it.

I mean, I sat at my kitchen table last week crying, sobbing, to my husband about the ways that cows are treated in California. 

John Robbins wrote this beautiful collection of essays about where our food is coming from. 

He speaks candidly and compassionately and fiercely but without any condesending tones. There is no " meat eaters are the devil " tone here. Just pure empathy and enlightenment...which really is the only thing I'll listen to.

I learned about cattle in the US and how most of these cows are treated. I learned about pollution and waste and the horrific lives these animals lead only to be followed up with a horror movie fit death.

I live in Canada so I'm generally not eating a lot of what is coming out of the US beef industry but that's of little consequence. I am still enraged and saddened and shameful of what is happening.

Mr. Robbins also writes of where our cheap coffee and our cheap chocolate is coming from.

I can honestly say that upon reading this book I vowed to never, ever purchase from Hershey again.

But the worst, the offenders who are the absolute worst are Nestle and Kraft. These companies not only knowingly and intently use child slaved cocoa farms but refuse to do anything about it. 

Ferrero Rocher, Russell Stover, Whitman's ( my ex-personal favourite ) Lindt, Dove and M&M/Mars are making hundreds of millions in profits every year selling their genetically modified crap to the masses. This crap that is, quite literally, born of abuse and death. 

I can't change it all. Me, sitting her in my home office tapping away at my keyboard, I'm not much.

But I am willing and able to try.

Please, if you have any intererest in helping to change the world, read a little bit about what is going on. Pick up a copy of No Happy Cows. Visit John Robbins' website and spend 5 minutes finding out about what's happening when we aren't looking.

Let's start looking. Let's start paying attention and doing something this.

Always in peace,

Ell 

Such Great Heights

I am thinking it's a sign
That the freckles in our eyes
Are mirror images and when
We kiss they're perfectly aligned

And I have to speculate
That God himself did make
Us into corresponding shapes
Like puzzle pieces from the clay

And true, it may seem like a stretch,
But its thoughts like this that catch
My troubled head when you're away
When I am missing you to death

When you are out there on the road
For several weeks of shows
And when you scan the radio,
I hope this song will guide you home

They won't see us waving from such great heights,
"Come down now," they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away,
"Come down now," but we'll stay...

I tried my best to leave
This all on your machine
But the persistent beat it sounded thin
Upon listening

And that frankly will not fly.
You will hear the shrillest highs
And lowest lows with the windows down
When this is guiding you home

They won't see us waving from such great heights,
"Come down now," they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away,
"Come down now," but we'll stay...

They won't see us waving from such great heights,
"Come down now," they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away,
"Come down now," but we'll stay...

They won't see us waving from such great heights,
"Come down now,"
They won't see us waving from such great heights,
"Come down now,"

But For Now We Are Young

What a beautiful face I have found in this place

That is circling all round the sun.

What a beautiful dream that could flash on the screen in a blink of an eye

and be gone from me soft and sweet.

Let me hold it close and keep it here with me.

And one day we will die and our ashes will fly from the aeroplane over the sea,

But for now we are young let us lay in the sun,

And count every beautiful thing we can see.

Love to be in the arms of all I'm keeping here with me.

What a curious life we have found here tonight,

There is music that sounds from the street.

There are lights in the clouds,

Anna's ghost all around.

Hear her voice as it's rolling and ringing through me.

Soft and sweet!

How the notes all bend and reach above the trees.

Now how I remember you.

How I would push my fingers through your mouth to make those muscles move

That made your voice so smooth and sweet.

And now we keep where we don't know

All secrets sleep in winter clothes

With one you loved so long ago now he don't even know his name.

What a beautiful face I have found in this place that is circling all round the sun.

When we meet on a cloud I'll be laughing out loud,

I'll be laughing with everyone I see,

Can't believe how strange it is to be anything at all.

~Neutral Milk Hotel ~ In the Aeroplane Over the Sea~